sunspot: zetti face with a curling fern (sweet lies and bitter truths)
[personal profile] sunspot
Title: To Save Penguins
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: 13+ or possibly not suitable for anyone
Word Count: 640
Summary: There was something going on, and Sam was pretty sure it was weird.
Author's Notes/Disclaimer: Characters belong to the CW and/or Eric Kripke.

“This is really, really weird, Dean. I think you should know this is weird. Even for us, this is a weird thing to have happening.”

“Sam you need to stop saying the word ‘weird’, I am forgetting what it actually means. Like when you say ‘lamp’ too many times at once.”

They were crouched under the large picture window in a local greasy spoon diner. Broken glass was scattered around them and people were shouting about monsters and whatnot. Also there were some dead people with their limbs having been chewed off and their guts on the floor which was probably against health regulations for a restaurant, but that was irrelevant given the circumstances.

“Lamp? What do you mean? Lamp. Lamp lamp lamp. Laaaaa-aaaamp. Lamp lamp lamp lamp. Lamp.”

“Sam, please stop saying ‘lamp’ now. It is distracting me from worrying about our monster problem.”

Sam stopped saying lamp. Instead he just adopted a look of intense concentration and furrowed his eyebrows a little. “I think step one should be figuring out what we’re dealing with as far as ‘monsters in the street.’”

“Dean? Dean are you in the restaurant?”

“Castiel?”

“Yes, I am outside. I have important news.”

Dean made to stand up, but Sam held his arm. “It could be a trap.”

“Castiel, are you a trap?”

“I am not, Dean, but-”

“Good enough for me!” Dean stood up and looked out the hole where the window had been. Then he dropped right back down onto the floor next to Sam.

“Sam!” he hissed. “The monster is a dinosaur! It’s a huge, terrifying, bloodthirsty raptor. Actually, it is more just looking ‘bemused and bewildered’. But it is still huge and a raptor.”

“A raptor? I’m not sure we can fight that, Dean!”

“Dean? Sam? I need some help here, there are men in camouflage with nets and guns and I think they are not as happy to see me as they could be.” Castiel sounded mildly perturbed, which for Castiel was practically panic.

Dean stood up again, eyeing the dinosaur carefully. “If you really are Castiel, prove it. Tell me something that only an angel would know.”

“Sometimes Sam wears eyeliner and glitter eye makeup and you pretend not to notice because it you think it will be uncomfortable to talk about.”

Dean looked down at Sam, who was grimacing and shaking his head like if he shook hard enough it would wipe out everyone’s memory. Even some of the army men were sniggering.

“So why are you a dinosaur now, Cas?”

The raptor cocked his head. “I really don’t want to talk about that. The important thing is that Lucifer is going to make a volcano in Antarctica erupt and we have to stop him or else many penguins will be killed.” Castiel had a soft spot for most flightless birds*. “Get Sam and your mittens and meet me here in ten minutes. I found a rickshaw so I can tow us to the airport.”

“Wait, so this dinosaur is a friend of yours?” asked the nearest army man.

Dean nodded. “And a pretty good dinosaur at that.”

“And you’re going to save penguins?”

“Yes, but we need to leave right away,” Castiel said.

“And you’re not going to eat them? It seems to me that a velociraptor might want to eat penguins instead of saving them...”

Castiel ducked his head, trying to cover his face with his clawed hands. “Maybe one or two, but only after we stop Lucifer.”

Dean patted his haunch. “It’s okay, Cas, we all like a treat after a job well done. Maybe I will have a beer and maybe Sam will put on mascara.”

“Maybe,” Castiel agreed.

“This is still weird,” Sam said, crossing his arms.








* Except the Kagu. There had been an unfortunate run-in in 1647 and Castiel still hadn’t forgiven them as a species.

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