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Title: The Time In The Cave (With a Bed, But Hardly Any Bats At All, Because Bats Are No Fun)
Fandom: Inspector Spacetime
Relationship(s)/Character(s): The Inspector/Brooke Rhapsody, Angie Lake
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~900
Warnings: smut
Summary: A bed might be an unexpected thing to find in a cave, but Brooke Rhapsody is certainly not.
Author's Notes: Written originally for Porn Battle 13, edited and reformatted to fit your screen.


"Hello Barmy." There was a drawling voice from just beyond his little circle of light.

The Inspector recognized the voice, of course, and shuddered a little involuntarily. That voice not only did things to him, but also strongly implied that things would be done to him in the near future (for any given amount of 'near' or 'future').

"Inspector, what's going --"

"Wait in the DARSIT, Lake, I won't be but a moment." It wasn't a lie, as far as he knew, nor would it matter if he was wrong, because what's a moment, really?

There was a long pause, like Angie was trying to decide how wise it would be to leave him alone in the dark with a strange voice that might be connected to something with very sharp teeth. Finally, she went inside and closed the door, taking all the light from the surroundings.

The Inspector waited for his eyes to adjust to the dark (or the lack of light -- he'd been wrong about that before), but it wasn't long before a match flared to life and she lit a lamp.

"Inspector," she said, a smile playing across her face in the shadows.

"Brooke," The Inspector said. He ignored the part where his voice came out in a husky whisper.

Brooke looked him up and down and smirked. "You're right on time."

They were in a cave. A big, damp cave, with stalagmites and stalactites (don't ask which were which, because practically no one in the universe could tell them apart). If the Inspector was a man who expected things, he certainly wouldn't have expected to find a bed in a cave, but then again, even things in caves needed to sleep and a bed was a pretty good place to sleep if one had a choice in these matters.

Brooke was something he might expect to find in a cave. She liked being unpredictable and she loved caves.

Okay, he didn't know that for sure, but it was certainly a possibility and hardly the most outrageous possibly-true fact about her.

"On time for what? You know that doesn't sound like me."

She let her legs fall open and gave him a little nod.

"You can't possibly be... Of course you are. You know we were on our way to tea with the Princess of Esania and you know how she gets when things don't go exactly according to plan."

"And yet, you came when I called. What do you say we go double or nothing in that respect?" Brooke pulled her skirt up, revealing only bare skin. She hated underwear liked Blorgons hated not eradicating things.

The Inspector glanced over his shoulder at the closed door of the DARSIT, calculating just how long he could spend with Brooke before Angie got bored and either interrupted, or stole his sweet ride.

There was time -- there was always time -- for a little recreation before the tea party.

It wasn't hard to shed his hat and kneel on the bed, and it certainly wasn't hard to press his mouth against her pussy.

Brooke was hot and wet and she moaned louder than the Moaning Petunias that dotted the hillsides of Harmoniflora Nine when he pushed his tongue a little deeper and lapped at the core of her.

He tugged her by the knees, pulling her ass up off the bed and pushing his tongue against her. She got louder, moaning his name to the stalagmites (and the stalactites, it didn't matter which was which, because she was loud enough to shake the bats out of the top of the cave. The bats didn't like to be shaken and the swarmed out in indignation, probably to hunt for bugs or scare people who still believed bats could turn into vampires, when really -- focus, Inspector, there's a task at hand. Well, in a manner of speaking).

The Inspector crooked a finger inside her to drag her over the edge with his mouth clamped neatly over her clit. She tangled her fingers in his hair and held him in place while she rode out her orgasm. Finally, she let him go and despite himself, he came up gasping.

"Well played, Inspector," Brooke said while he wiped his chin off on the sheets by her thigh.

"Thank you. You performed well yourself."

She laughed. It was a throaty laugh, full of dark (and light and what have you) and promise of more dirty deeds, and it rang off the walls of the cave and all the various sticky-up and drippy-down parts therein.

"I should get going," he said, searching about for his hat. "Before Lake makes off with my time machine and I have to eat bats to survive until she comes back. I've eaten bat before, you know, too many small bones and they taste nothing like marshmallows and not nearly as good as you."

Brooke was protesting, of course, but he turned and winked at her by the door of the DARSIT. "How about next time, then? You can owe me one. Another one, I mean. You already owe me one from that time with the fellow with the horns in that pan-galactic karaoke bar. Don't think I'm going to be forgetting about that one just because you... well. We both remember what you did."

She smiled warmly. "We do indeed. Until next time, Inspector."

"I shan't hardly wait, Brooke."

February 2017

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