Fanmix: After Silence [EP]
Feb. 9th, 2010 10:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sunspotI made this for our Sassy comment meme for Valentine's Day for this prompt. Spoilers (for Supernatural) through 5x13. Title from quote by Aldous Huxley. Fic approx. 900 words, rated PG13
After Silence
Stuck In The Middle With You, by Stealers Wheel
More Than A Feeling, by Boston
All My Loving, by The Beatles
Can't Fight This Feeling, by REO Speedwagon
I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, by Aerosmith
Romeo and Juliet, by Dire Straits
Touch Me, by The Doors
Elephant Love Medley, Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
Friday I'm In Love, by The Cure
Get it here.
"Cas?" Sam called, looking around. He picked the cassette tape up off his laptop keyboard.
"What's that?"
He held it up for Dean to see. "Castiel left me a tape, apparently."
"That's... Weird."
"To say the least. I'm going to listen to it in the car, okay?"
Dean nodded and went back to the gun he was oiling.
Sam leaned back in the passenger seat of the Impala and closed his eyes, pressing play on the tape player. He had absolutely no idea what to expect from this unprecedented gift from Castiel and, truth be told, he was a little nervous. There had been an very complicated moment a week back after Castiel had woken up for the second time after the time traveling debacle. Dean had gone out for provisions (beer and doughnuts) when Cas woke up with a terrified sounding shout. Sam had rushed to calm him and they'd ended in an awkward half-hug across the mattress that had turn into an awkward half-kiss and then into two very awkward full-apologies and stuttered 'I didn't mean, I thought that you, I forgot that we's.
When a familiar song started playing through the car's audio, Sam had to eject the tape to make sure he hadn't picked up one of Dean's by mistake. Stealers Wheel? he thought. What the hell is this, Castiel?
Then he figured maybe Cas had taped over something else and the message he had for Sam was coming up in the middle, so he kept listening. Sam's brow furrowed a little more with each classic rock song and classic rock song. There was a song towards the end that confused him a little, as it didn't fit with the rest of them at all. Finally the music stopped. The tape hissed along, apparently blank. Sam listened for a few more minutes, wondering if something else was coming and partially trying to figure out what the meaning of it all had been.
Then was a rustling that wasn't coming from the tape and then Castiel was sitting in the driver's seat of the Impala.
"Hello," he said.
"Hey," Sam said back, prodding the stop button on the tape deck so they could talk, but they didn't make eye contact and they didn't speak again for a long moment. Sam tugged a stray thread from the cuff of his sweater and Castiel stared straight ahead out the windshield.
"You listened to the whole tape."
"Yeah," Sam said, noticing how very loud his voice sounded in the enclosed car and in comparison to Castiel's. It was almost cartoonish. "Um. But why did you give that to me?"
"I made it for you," Castiel clarified. "It's a thing, apparently. That people do for each other. To express things that are better expressed through music than through words."
"You mean feelings."
"That. That and maybe more." Castiel shifted in the seat to look at Sam for the first time. "Things are very different for people. A lot different than for angels, I mean. Before, in heaven, if I wanted to make something known, I could declare it openly, for everyone to hear and know, without any fear of... well of anything. No judgment, certainly, or fear or scorn. But here and now? Away from heaven?" He paused thoughtfully. Sam thought he saw something sad flicker across Castiel's face, but it disappeared before he could be sure.
"Even my true voice would be too much for you to handle, Sam, let alone my true feelings."
Sam didn't say anything. What could he say? He was still only twenty percent sure he knew what Castiel was even talking about.
"I'm making do," Castiel continued. He was more talkative now than Sam ever remembered him being before. "I actually quite liked the idea of the music. I had to borrow Dean's tapes to make this one though."
That explained the classic rock at any rate.
"I'm sorry Cas," Sam said finally. "But I'm not sure I'm getting it. All those songs..."
Castiel smiled a small smile and tilted his head ever so slightly. "Come on, Sam."
"I..." Sam rubbed a hand at the back of his neck. "Are you saying you have feelings for me?"
"Yes. Strong feelings. Positive feelings."
"Oh."
Castiel looked uncomfortable. "Boston said it, I think," he started, he pressed the play button on the tape player, which picked up at the exact right moment.
'When I'm tired and thinking cold, I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know. I closed my eyes and she slipped away.'
The tape stopped again and Castiel was staring at Sam. Sam fought the urge to look away. "The pronouns are wrong, but the feeling is there. I don't want to... close my eyes and have you slip away."
Sam leaned across the seat and kissed him. Castiel kissed back, settling one hand on Sam's hand, skin burning against skin. They pulled apart and Sam licked his lips. "So you used Dean's tapes... Does he actually have the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge?"
Cas nodded, motioning to the back seat. "I found them all back there."
"Hmm. And... The Doors? Touch Me?"
He shrugged, acting casual, but he flushed a little. "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
Sam felt himself flushing a little after that. "Thanks for tape," he breathed, not sure what else to say.
"You're welcome," Castiel said, pulling Sam by the elbow into a second kiss. "Thank you for listening."
After Silence
Stuck In The Middle With You, by Stealers Wheel
More Than A Feeling, by Boston
All My Loving, by The Beatles
Can't Fight This Feeling, by REO Speedwagon
I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, by Aerosmith
Romeo and Juliet, by Dire Straits
Touch Me, by The Doors
Elephant Love Medley, Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
Friday I'm In Love, by The Cure
Get it here.
"Cas?" Sam called, looking around. He picked the cassette tape up off his laptop keyboard.
"What's that?"
He held it up for Dean to see. "Castiel left me a tape, apparently."
"That's... Weird."
"To say the least. I'm going to listen to it in the car, okay?"
Dean nodded and went back to the gun he was oiling.
Sam leaned back in the passenger seat of the Impala and closed his eyes, pressing play on the tape player. He had absolutely no idea what to expect from this unprecedented gift from Castiel and, truth be told, he was a little nervous. There had been an very complicated moment a week back after Castiel had woken up for the second time after the time traveling debacle. Dean had gone out for provisions (beer and doughnuts) when Cas woke up with a terrified sounding shout. Sam had rushed to calm him and they'd ended in an awkward half-hug across the mattress that had turn into an awkward half-kiss and then into two very awkward full-apologies and stuttered 'I didn't mean, I thought that you, I forgot that we's.
When a familiar song started playing through the car's audio, Sam had to eject the tape to make sure he hadn't picked up one of Dean's by mistake. Stealers Wheel? he thought. What the hell is this, Castiel?
Then he figured maybe Cas had taped over something else and the message he had for Sam was coming up in the middle, so he kept listening. Sam's brow furrowed a little more with each classic rock song and classic rock song. There was a song towards the end that confused him a little, as it didn't fit with the rest of them at all. Finally the music stopped. The tape hissed along, apparently blank. Sam listened for a few more minutes, wondering if something else was coming and partially trying to figure out what the meaning of it all had been.
Then was a rustling that wasn't coming from the tape and then Castiel was sitting in the driver's seat of the Impala.
"Hello," he said.
"Hey," Sam said back, prodding the stop button on the tape deck so they could talk, but they didn't make eye contact and they didn't speak again for a long moment. Sam tugged a stray thread from the cuff of his sweater and Castiel stared straight ahead out the windshield.
"You listened to the whole tape."
"Yeah," Sam said, noticing how very loud his voice sounded in the enclosed car and in comparison to Castiel's. It was almost cartoonish. "Um. But why did you give that to me?"
"I made it for you," Castiel clarified. "It's a thing, apparently. That people do for each other. To express things that are better expressed through music than through words."
"You mean feelings."
"That. That and maybe more." Castiel shifted in the seat to look at Sam for the first time. "Things are very different for people. A lot different than for angels, I mean. Before, in heaven, if I wanted to make something known, I could declare it openly, for everyone to hear and know, without any fear of... well of anything. No judgment, certainly, or fear or scorn. But here and now? Away from heaven?" He paused thoughtfully. Sam thought he saw something sad flicker across Castiel's face, but it disappeared before he could be sure.
"Even my true voice would be too much for you to handle, Sam, let alone my true feelings."
Sam didn't say anything. What could he say? He was still only twenty percent sure he knew what Castiel was even talking about.
"I'm making do," Castiel continued. He was more talkative now than Sam ever remembered him being before. "I actually quite liked the idea of the music. I had to borrow Dean's tapes to make this one though."
That explained the classic rock at any rate.
"I'm sorry Cas," Sam said finally. "But I'm not sure I'm getting it. All those songs..."
Castiel smiled a small smile and tilted his head ever so slightly. "Come on, Sam."
"I..." Sam rubbed a hand at the back of his neck. "Are you saying you have feelings for me?"
"Yes. Strong feelings. Positive feelings."
"Oh."
Castiel looked uncomfortable. "Boston said it, I think," he started, he pressed the play button on the tape player, which picked up at the exact right moment.
'When I'm tired and thinking cold, I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know. I closed my eyes and she slipped away.'
The tape stopped again and Castiel was staring at Sam. Sam fought the urge to look away. "The pronouns are wrong, but the feeling is there. I don't want to... close my eyes and have you slip away."
Sam leaned across the seat and kissed him. Castiel kissed back, settling one hand on Sam's hand, skin burning against skin. They pulled apart and Sam licked his lips. "So you used Dean's tapes... Does he actually have the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge?"
Cas nodded, motioning to the back seat. "I found them all back there."
"Hmm. And... The Doors? Touch Me?"
He shrugged, acting casual, but he flushed a little. "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
Sam felt himself flushing a little after that. "Thanks for tape," he breathed, not sure what else to say.
"You're welcome," Castiel said, pulling Sam by the elbow into a second kiss. "Thank you for listening."
no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 01:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 09:05 pm (UTC)I'm glad Cas came out the way he did. I love crack, but sometimes I feel like I oughta be contributing something besides.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-20 08:23 pm (UTC)